Category: Waiting on God

Multiple Sclerosis Changed My Life

Hello, subscribers. Happy Spring!!

For those of you who do not know, I’ve been living with multiple sclerosis since 2010. I must admit, it’s been quite a journey. It took a lot of the things I loved–fast it seems. There was almost a two-year time frame before I knew what was wrong. Once I did get the diagnosis, the symptoms just increased each year, rapidly. The first body part it impacted was my hands. My career was as an administrative assistant, doing lots of computer work, desktop publishing, and typing. My documents were flawless, so imagine my dismay when I went from typing with 10 fingers to about 2-4, and seeing the loads of red underlines MS Word signals when you have a typing error. I was flabbergasted! Then, it was my legs and balance. All my life, I moved quickly. I could walk 10 city blocks easily and fast. Now, I must use a walker, and after 2 city blocks, my feet begin to drag; it’s called foot drop. The other notable change MS has produced in my life is the inability to multitask. I told you I moved quick, so I was able to do several things at the same time. However, MS symptoms also impair our mental and cognitive function. Fatigue is also real and sometimes unbearable in MS. I used to be able to clean the entire house in one day. Not anymore. It was the fatigue I kept emphasizing to doctors that something physical was wrong because they kept telling me I was having some type of mental health crisis. I always had a lot of energy. Could go and go like a Duracell battery. Now, I’ll do one thing, rest, then the next thing.

So, I lost my typing ability, multitasking skills, speed, accuracy, and ability to keep going for long periods. I was in a deep depression for the first several years and could not understand for the life of me why God would allow this in my life. (I asked Him.) I loved my career and was good at it, moving fast, and being busy.

The Lord is faithful, though, and allows nothing in our lives we can’t handle; in fact, He teaches us in it–if we let Him. He’ll show you a whole new way of being and living. It’s what He did for me and continues to do; He taught me how to manage this disease. I’ll never forget Him gently reminding me when I was living in denial trying to continue as I once was. “You’re sick Ellie,” He whispered. Wow, God deals in truth. Besides, how could I ask for healing if I’m not accepting I’m sick.

Maybe your life course, dreams, or way of being has been altered too by some malady or misfortune. You too may have legitimate questions for God. He may not always explain the reasoning, but He slowly puts things in perspective for us. So, now, I write. My body, mind, and spirit are finally at a slowed enough pace to do so.

Nonetheless, I’m excited today! Me and my new network of people is gearing up in Philadelphia on Saturday, May 4 for our annual MS Walk. I finally got a team together after 14 years. It’s an exciting event! If you would like to support us and donate, please visit my Facebook page (Eleanor Parks), or click the link below to be taken to my National MS Society’s personal fundraising page to donate. The National MS Society is an excellent organization; I’m where I am today because of them.

https://events.nationalmssociety.org/participant/Eleanor-Parks

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us… In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:18, 26-28)

Be blessed until next time… 🙂

Moses’ Questions: Who, What, When, Where, and How?

Happy New Year! Mine came in with a blast! No, I wasn’t at a celebratory event with a group of family or friends, nor was I having a quiet romantic evening with a significant other or out watching the Times Square ball drop or beautiful flaring fireworks. I ended 2023 alone at home on my laptop in a virtual church service. And I received an unexpected, much-needed, powerful message to take me into 2024 and one I should carry throughout the rest of the year.

The scripture: Exodus 33:12-23. The bible character: Moses. The situation: He’s questioning God. Key words: The Lord’s presence. The overall gist: Stay in God’s presence, in communication for a more peaceful, restful year. The key verse: My presence shall go with thee, and I will give you rest. This is the Lord’s answer to Moses’ question. The words instantly resonated with me. I knew it was what I would need for 2024.

If you read Moses’ story in the Bible, you’ll learn how from God’s initial call to him to lead the Israelite community out of Egyptian bondage and throughout Moses’ performing the task, he stayed in contact with God and asked Him a lot of questions. Moses had doubts and was apprehensive and insecure. We are too. He recognized the monumental task and the skills one would need to fulfill it—leadership ability, people skills, public speaking and organization skills, physical strength and stamina, and confidence. Moses had none of these. He needed assurance, and God did oblige him.

In Exodus 3:11, Moses doubts his ability to perform the task. The Lord replies in verse 12 saying, “Surely I will be with you.” Moses presents his concerns to God about the people believing he was sent or paying attention to him (Exodus 3:13 and 4:1). God responds in verse 14, “I AM that I AM…You must say this to the Israelites, ‘I AM has sent me to you,” and in Exodus 4:3-9, The Lord gives Moses a sign. Next, Moses laments his speaking ability (Exodus 4:10). The Lord assures him in 4:11-12, “The Lord said to him, ‘…So now go, and I will be with your mouth and will teach you what you must say.’” Finally, Moses requests the Lord to send someone else (Exodus 4:13). In verses 4:14-16, the Lord does get a bit perturbed with Moses but does oblige him. He says, “… What about your brother Aaron the Levite? I know that he can speak very well.” 

Now, in this text my brother shared at our New Year’s service, Moses is well into fulfilling his calling. He has led the Israelites to a certain point but not yet into the land of promise. There is more journeying to do, yet Moses is still in contact with the Lord. What’s happening? What prompts Moses’ question this time? He’s wondering, how will he know, who will go with him, and whether he will have the Lord’s favor. You see, so much had happened. The Israelites angered God and broke the bond they had with Him. As a result, the Lord shifted. He did not detract from His promise but had to reprimand them. Moses recognizes this yet maintains his personal, intimate communion with God. He needs to know God’s redirected plan in getting the Israelites to their ultimate destination—the promised land. Moses dares not leave God out, take matters into his own hands, or think he could manage the rest of the mission on his own. He stays focused, remains humble, and stays close to God for what to do next; this was the Lord’s people and promise to them.

We too should never get to a place of complacency or overconfidence during our Christian journey. It’s easy for us, at times, to begin to rely on our abilities, and/or our skills or strength, and think, “I got this!” This is a caution for me because the Lord has given me a good degree of smarts; I can make things happen. However, we can’t afford this level of confidence when it comes to God’s kingdom life because it does not rely upon or operate as the world. Whether simply living day by day to become a more fruitful Christian or fulfilling a specific calling, we always need to hear from the Lord. The Church can not afford to sideline the Holy Spirit on Church affairs.  Perhaps we have left out the Holy Spirit in how we now function, you think?

Like Moses, we need not fear to ask God questions, to hear His voice, to know his word, and to receive his direction and encouragement for us. We should always keep our communication with God open to receive His assurance we’re going the right way and that His presence is with us.

Be blessed until next time! 🙂

 

What’s your Issue(s)?

There’s a story in the Gospel writings in Luke 8:43-48 about a woman who had an issue of blood. She was bleeding profusely for twelve long years with this disease and spent all her money going to see different doctors, but she never improved. She was suffering. In fact, the Bible says, her condition got worse until she encountered Jesus. Interesting?

I can relate to this woman seeing many doctors. I have multiple sclerosis. Diagnosed in 2010, and it’s been one trip after another to see doctors. There are bi-yearly wellness visits, MRIs, physical therapy, medication management, infusions, and sometimes hospital stays for steroids when I have an MS relapse. Unlike this woman during her time, I’m not ostracized by the community because of my health condition. In fact, I once said jokingly to one of the hospital’s welcoming team members, “You guys need to get me a cot and a room to stay over as much as I’m here.” She laughed. Having a medical issue that there is no cure and doctors can’t fix is difficult and daunting.

But medical issues are not the only issues from which we suffer. There are various types and degrees of issues. I like how this verse begins, “There was a woman who had an issue of blood.” The text is specific to her gender and problem. We’ve learned how Jesus came to save the world, so we can draw a universal principle here. Let’s read it again, placing ourselves in the text. “There was a woman [or man] who had an issue of… Stop right there. The Bible teaches us in Isaiah how the Spirit of the Lord was upon Jesus to save, heal, deliver, or set people free, not only from sin but from other problems or issues they may have. Jesus still does this because He is alive. He is still handling people’s issues who believe and come to (or touch) Him in faith. This is the gist or theological principle in this story. He said in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Isn’t this what this woman, and Jesus, did?

You too may have been suffering from an issue for a long time. You’ve tried to solve it yourself or sought help to alleviate the pain, as the woman did. But you found no relief; your issue lingers. What may your issue be? Maybe you’re suffering from a bad attitude, insecurity, lying, racial or biased views, hatred, drinking, mental illness, cancer,  rejection or foolish attempts to fit in, be “cool” with peers, a need to please, overworking, autism, bipolar, body image issues, striving for perfection/success, anxiety, inability to communicate, illiteracy, infatuation with committing criminal acts, drug dealing or dependency, pride, an awful mouth, continually hooking up with wrong romantic partners, intimacy issues, introversion… and on and on and on the list could go.

Jesus commended this woman, who was afraid to be noticed in the crowd because of her issue. He calls her “daughter” and tells her it was her faith that healed her. She could now go on with her life in peace. You too can receive God’s commendation. Believe that Jesus came to heal your broken heart too. Know that He’s alive and wants you to come to Him. To touch Him and be made whole. No issue is so bad, or too complex or complicated for Him. He has the remedy! Only believe!

He has surely helped and continues to help me with mine. 🙂

Be blessed until next time…!

Slow Down

It’s important to slow down, to hear, to see, and not miss an unrecognizable blessing!

Hello. I’m back from my summer break and must say I feel rested and refreshed. I’ve learned it’s okay to put things aside and rest for a while. This was not always typical of me. I had to always be busy or actively working on or doing something new. I was driven and consumed by success, ambition, making money, climbing the corporate ladder, and getting things right (especially this Christian life)–quick. My drive and what was compelling it, I discovered, had nothing to do with God! My drive was worldly, often fueled by insecurity and wrong motives. I’ve learned and still am learning the importance of slowing down, smelling the flowers, and gaining the right perspective. We’re all familiar with this traffic sign. It alerts drivers to exercise caution in a particular area because pedestrians are walking nearby. Drivers should slow down.

Slowing our pace, pulling away from demands, streamlining expectations, and drawing away from people sometimes must be beneficial for us. Didn’t Jesus do it? Mark 8:35 shows us He did. It says, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Even our Creator, God, after He completed His creative work, rested. Genesis 2-3 tells us, “By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.” Surely, if Jesus stopped healing, teaching, and preaching to regroup, and God, the Father, rested after work, shouldn’t we do the same?

For twelve years, I’ve been living with multiple sclerosis (MS). Before MS, I was naturally energetic and fast. My brain thought fast. I walked fast. I finished tests and spelled words fast. I typed, prepared documents, and proofread fast! I cleaned the house fast! And still, even now, I respond fast to a crisis. This was me. Fast could have been my nickname. It’s how people may identify me. No doubt, the MS has contributed to my slower pace now, (although my son is constantly alerting me still to, “slow down, Mom”). There was something more, however–besides MS–that triggered in me a need to slow life down. First, the more I experienced God in my life, I realized, unlike our fast-paced American culture and world, God doesn’t always immediately move when I need or want Him to. He doesn’t always quickly respond to my requests. God moves, responds, and acts in His time. This is sometimes difficult for us to grasp, especially when it involves something we believe He could or should have prevented if He would have. However, God’s kingdom is a mystery to us; it does not function or operate as earthly kingdoms. He reveals pieces about it to us little by little, because its ways are foreign to human ways. No one can say they have completely figured God out.

Second, this idea about, “setting our minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Col. 3:2) is not something we immediately comprehend. Ours is a fast-paced, fast answering, fast problem-solving world. Society tells us to “weather the storm” and “keep it moving.” Even as we watch on television the world calamities that happen, we hear news network reporters asking, “How quick was the response? How soon will repairs start? How fast did law enforcement arrive? When will the electricity be restored?” Since information now travels so fast via the internet, satellite, and cell phones, one is thinking, “Wow! Didn’t the catastrophe just happen?” But, this is our world–fast. It was my thinking too.

In my upcoming book, I talk about how as a child I visualized God as a superhero, like Superman, flying through the skies, saving the world from evil. I’ve since grown up and realized, however, God may not always act fast on my behalf. As a member of His family, there are times when daily, weekly, or year after year, my prayers to God continued–unanswered. I thought they were honorable prayers too, prayers that deserved special attention because they concerned areas of struggle and weakness I had or a sin I wanted to overcome. I mean, “God hates sin,” right? He’ll be here fast to help with this one. To my surprise, God didn’t immediately show up, let alone even address the situation I put before Him. He didn’t immediately come and show me a way out–sometimes until years later. God didn’t always immediately strengthen me, show me what to say, or heal my broken heart. I recall times crying out earnestly to Him, in anguish, seeking His help on a matter, his touch to relieve a pain that I felt warranted His immediate response. God did respond—but in His time. Contrary to how fast our society says we should move to keep up, I recall, in between my prayers to God and His response to them, I did: hurt, feel pain, cried, sweat, struggled, wondered, and thought. I did have to wait.

We don’t realize how earthly-minded we still are as Christians.  Instead of it being God’s kingdom driving us, we’re being driven and propelled forward maybe by our culture and societal norms and values, past hurts, settling a score, competing with someone, words spoken that left a scar, attempts to correct a past failure, and other things only you know. It’s wise to check in with ourselves to see what’s really driving us; it may not always be God.

When we’re so busy, moving fast, making things happen, and getting things done, at some point, we may finally look up and see, we missed the entire process and important small details. We neglected to recognize the still small voice inside us saying, “Stop, he’s hurting; she’s crying, sit a minute; look at Little Joey’s picture he drew for you; your husband had a rough day, rub his shoulders; look at that beautiful skyline; pick up that pretty Lily; go visit your sister today; tell them about Jesus, they’re ready; go, it’s parent/kids day at school; give her $20, she’s hungry; go visit your cousin in the hospital; hug him, he’s sad; sit down and listen, they’re depressed.” These seemingly insignificant whispers are wherein our blessing lies; it’s God quietly, gently speaking, and when we notice, we “do” what’s on His heart. Let’s slow down so we won’t miss these gentle nudgings anymore. For, it’s in doing these where our true success is measured—for God’s kingdom, that is.

Be blessed until next time!

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