What I’m Not

Romans 7:15-25 (NIV)

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man [woman] I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

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I’m amazed that one of the greatest Apostles of Jesus Christ wrote this. We often ascribe the biblical authors with some type of divinity they had, or we think somehow, they were exempt from life’s struggles. They always got it right while serving Christ. In Christendom, today, great people of God are ascribed by how “good” they are or how “good” they do, (even look–sadly).

The Apostle Paul was a theologian and the most influential figure of the Apostolic Age, who founded several churches in Asia Minor and Europe, defended faith in Jesus Christ, and produced for our learning and growth 13 or 14 New Testament books in the Bible. But, in this verse, he’s not sizing up his accomplishments and sharing how great he is or how great he is doing. No, Paul concludes this discourse with, “Oh wretched man that I am.” Merriam-Webster defines wretched as, “a miserable person: one who is profoundly unhappy or in great misfortune; a base, despicable, or vile person.” In all the Apostle Paul’s work for God’s kingdom, he comes to this realization about himself–he’s still struggling to do what’s right. He’s a mess! Have you ever said this about yourself? Do you see yourself in this way?

Paul’s statement is indicative of someone who had a revelation. He accepted, committed to, looked at, studied, and served Christ. Here, I think, he puts his own life decisions and ways up against it. He is stunned, bewildered, confused, troubled, and torn. “What can I do about this?” he thinks.

Sometimes, it is good to know what we really are not, considering who Jesus Christ is. We’re on the same playing field and have the same nature as Judas, who betrayed Jesus, Peter who denied him, or Thomas who doubted him and needed proof. We are capable of any of this. It’s good, as a Christian, to remember, that there still is a real struggle, a real war, a real battle going on while living in this flesh.

I’ve been called a really negative person for taking such a view. People have said I’m speaking in existence a negative outcome. I need more confidence in myself and may have self-esteem issues. I need to “come up” in my thinking. My faith should be stronger, and I should speak into existence and just claim the truth of God’s word.

Well, no, I think I’ll stick with Paul’s view. It really keeps me balanced and focused on Jesus Christ–all He is, all He has done, all I’m not, and all I haven’t done. I’m humbled by maintaining this awareness that my “flesh counts for nothing.” This is not a put-down friends; it’s a truth in the Bible. Claim this–that you will always need the Holy Spirit’s help. 🙂